Talking with older children and young people about safety, relationships and consent doesn’t need to be complicated. What matters most is creating space for open, honest conversations and using your judgement to choose what’s age‑ and developmentally-appropriate for the child or young person you’re supporting.

Below are three practical steps and links to helpful information and resources to guide you as you get started.

1. Explore topics and themes to talk about

Consider what topics are age‑ and developmentally-appropriate for the child or young person you’re speaking with.

How do I know if something is age or developmentally appropriate?

This will depend on the individual child or young person you're speaking with. Below are some practical tips and questions to help you think about what might be appropriate.

Think about their maturity, not just their age

  • Some 12‑year‑olds may be ready for more complex conversations than some 16‑year‑olds.
  • Consider how they usually handle sensitive topics and emotions.

Start with what they already know

  • Ask gentle questions to check their understanding: “What have you heard about…?”
  • Build on their existing knowledge rather than assuming they know nothing or everything.

Match the level of detail to their needs

  • Younger teens often need simple, concrete explanations.
  • Older teens may be ready for more nuance, real‑life examples and discussion of consequences.

Think about their lived experience

  • A young person who has been experienced certain situations (online risks, relationships, peer pressure) may need more direct information.
  • Others may need a slower and more gradual introduction to the topic.

Watch their reactions

  • If they seem confused, overwhelmed or uncomfortable, slow down or simplify.

Use everyday context to guide you

  • If something has come up at school, online or in their friendships, it may be the right time to talk about it.
  • If the topic feels unrelated to their world, keep it brief or wait for a more natural moment.

Prioritise their safety and wellbeing

  • If the information helps them stay safe, make informed choices or understand their rights, it’s usually appropriate. The key is adjusting the language and depth.

Keep the door open for future conversations

  • Young people often absorb information over time.
  • You don’t need to cover everything at once. Revisit topics as they grow and their understanding develops.
2. Use some conversations starters

Below are some practical conversation starters from the National Office for Child Safety. They’re designed to help you open the door to meaningful discussions and encourage young people to think, question and share.

These themes can be woven into everyday conversations with young people so they feel natural rather than overwhelming.

Conversations starters about unsafe situations

  • What would you do if an adult or another child you knew and liked did something that made you feel worried or scared?
  • What would you do if I wasn’t at school or training to collect you and someone you’ve only just met offers you a lift home?
  • What would you do if you felt uncomfortable at a sleepover or in a public place?
  • What would you do if an adult started paying lots of attention to you and giving you presents and money?
  • What would you do if someone tried to touch you in a way you didn’t think was OK?


Conversations starters about unsafe online situations

  • How can you tell that someone on the internet is who they say they are?
  • Why might strangers start talking to teenagers on the internet?
  • What would you do if someone you didn’t know started messaging you on social media, even if they said they were a child?
  • What would you do if someone asked you to meet up with them or send them naked pictures? And what if they said they would show the photos to someone else, asked you for money, or said they would hurt you or someone else if you didn’t send them photos?
3. Support them to build a safety team

A safety team (or safety network) is a small group of adults a child can turn to when they need help, support, or protection. These adults are often called trusted adults, safe people, or safety helpers.