What should I tell someone about?

What can sexual abuse look like?

Sexual abuse isn’t always obvious. It can be hidden, confusing, or start small and build over time. It can happen in‑person or online.

Sexual abuse can look like someone:

• Touching your private parts, or trying to—even over your clothes
• Looking at your private parts in a way that feels uncomfortable
• Asking you to touch their private parts or someone else’s
• Taking photos or videos of your private parts
• Showing you sexual pictures or videos
• Asking you to send sexual photos or videos of yourself
• Making comments about your body that feel too personal or uncomfortable

What can grooming look like?

Grooming is when an adult tries to build trust with you (and sometimes your family or carers) so they can sexually abuse you. It can happen slowly and feel confusing.

Grooming can look like someone:

• Giving you gifts, compliments, or special attention
• Treating you like an adult to make you feel “special”
• Trying to spend time alone with you
• Getting close to your family so they seem trustworthy
• Asking you to keep secrets
• Slowly pushing boundaries—starting with non‑sexual touching or comments
• Making you feel guilty, responsible, or like you “owe” them
• Pressuring or blackmailing you to do sexual things

Healthy relationships do not involve pressure or anything sexual that you do not want.

What if it happened online?

Grooming and sexual abuse can happen online too.

This can look like someone:

• Making you feel like something is “off”—trust that feeling
• Saying things that don’t match their profile or story
• Saying their webcam is “broken” so you can’t see them
• Contacting you all the time or through different apps
• Asking who else uses your device or which room you’re in
• Asking for favours and giving you things in return
• Complimenting your appearance or asking personal questions like “have you ever been kissed?”
• Trying to move the conversation to private messages
• Insisting on meeting in person or making you feel bad if you say no
• Wanting to keep your relationship a secret
• Moving you to different apps or platforms to avoid being noticed

If someone online is pushing your boundaries, it’s not because you did something wrong. It’s because they are doing something unsafe.

If something feels wrong, Tell Someone

You deserve to feel safe, online and offline.

If anything like this has happened to you, or even if you are not sure, talk to a trusted adult. This could be:

• A parent or carer
• A teacher
• A school counsellor
• A coach
• A family member you feel safe with

You won’t be in trouble. You won’t be blamed.
A trusted adult will listen, believe you, and help you stay safe.

Do you still have questions after reading this? 

Have a look at the answers to some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) from children and young people.